i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize