So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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