im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
