Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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