Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
