PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
