It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Randomize