I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
is it fun? or sober?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize