honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
