Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
