i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
