Who did Billy Mays play for?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize