Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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