Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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