i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
