How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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