you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
