The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
tell your sister to shave her snatch
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
