its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
