...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
