Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
