i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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