...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Your cock deserves a montage
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize