if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
