she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize