Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
