Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize