Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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