So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
