You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
