Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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