Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
this will be a night to untag.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
