Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
