Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
