nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize