dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
