she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
