I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
soo... how was my night?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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