I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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