i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
