Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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