dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
