Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Are we still banned from the library?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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