Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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