oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
