Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
