guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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