Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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