oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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