Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
