Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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