Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
