I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
