She is in my trunk
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
