can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
