We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
