Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
