barbara walters just said penis...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
