Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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