i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
