The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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