If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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