i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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