You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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