You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
