i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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