I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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