I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize